Oct 21, 2019
Favorite quotes of the episode: “Feedback is hard because feedback is about learning and growth and learning and growth are uncomfortable. Always.”
“Learning that discomfort is not a barrier to being effective, is powerful.”
“The purpose of feedback is to help people get more effective at meeting their own goals.”
“Try it, do it badly, and you will get better.”
Episode Overview
I kicked off 2019 with a promise to discuss big issues, big ideas and provide real-world actionable solutions that we can all implement in our daily lives as busy professionals.
In this episode, I talk with Kate Arms, on how to give and receive feedback.
She has been creating cultures where people thrive since 1984 when she first realized she could turn the lonely outlier kids in her middle school into a group of friends. She has learned through experience that every person has the power to improve the culture of a group with or without formal authority.
Her superpower is facilitating open, challenging, and respectful conversations on controversial topics on Facebook.
She has negotiation and mediation training from Harvard Law School. Her coach training includes coaching certification from The Co-Active Training Institute (CTI), Organizational and Relationship Systems Coaching (ORSC) training from CRR Global, and certification in Creativity Coaching from the Creativity Coaching Association. She is a certified InterPlay Leader and a graduate of CTI’s Co-Active Leadership Program.
TOPICS
Kate’s career path
Setting the stage, overview, how to prepare for feedback
Preparing to receive feedback, building trust
How to Give Feedback / How to Receive Feedback (steps, tactics, framework)
From the book, Crucial Accountability:
STAR Method (Situation, Task, Action, Result)
Framework for looking at where failure happens: (Individual, Group/System, Tools)
- Does the individual have the skills to do the job?
- Does the individual have the right motivation?
- Does the group have the skillset?
- Does the group have the right motivation? (or incentive structures?)
- Does the individual have the right tools?
- Are the Tools impacting the motivation?
Common Fails, pitfalls to avoid
5 Questions Segment
Q1. We know that the most successful and happy people have a morning routine, what do you do each morning or evening that sets your day up for success? I text my friend each morning a daily message to help keep us on task and being the people we want to be that day.
Q2. What's your definition of Success? A sufficient quantity of good feelings, a sense of accomplishment, a sense that my work and I matter, a sense that I am leading my life rather than being a victim of circumstances, and good relationships. ~ from Martin Seligman’s work.
Q3. What's your definition of Happiness? Enough ease with discomfort to pursue my goals, savoring success so that I truly enjoy it and enough courage to let go and begin again.
Q4. What do you know now that you wish you would have known 10 years ago? I’m not dependent upon anyone else for my happiness and that I can create relationships that make me happy, I don’t have to wait for other people to do it. If I want great power, I have to take great responsibility, but only for things that are within my power.
RESOURCES
Connect with Kate: www.signalfirecoaching.com
Upcoming class: Enhance Your Natural Leadership
http://katearms.com/enhance-your-natural-leadership/
Books mentioned:
Flourish by Martin Seligman
Crucial Accountability by Joseph Grenny, Kerry Patterson, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler, David Maxfield
Have a question for Kate? Angela will be following back around with her next year, send your questions to angela@pawsconsulting.com
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